Ask me again
Why I do not sleep.
Why I run in the middle of the night.
I run from my own fears.
I do stupid shit so that when the world
gives me what I deserve
I can no longer blame myself.
Ask me again
Why I enjoy the darkness.
Why I only feel I understand
my own insanity then, even
when the voices in my head tell
me I am the luckiest man alive.
Ask me again
Why twilight is my understanding.
Why my soul burns and my eyes see in prisms.
The words of a madman are written on my lips
and his ears are set on our nothingness.
Ask me again
Why I count the hours of loneliness on one hand
while I wait for the chime of eternity.
I am always happy.
Not as an act or a shell.
I only give the world what it deserves for my
existence.
I am a god
who only believes in himself
and I am nothing
so soon I will disappear.
Ask me again
Why I am only what is around me.
Why I am worthless without what is around me.
Why the people around me matter more than I do.
Ask me again
Why I am proud.
Ask me again
Why I am a failure.
Ask me again
Why I strive for everything.
Ask me again
And I will tell you
I am the worst kind of liar--
one who fooled the world
into thinking I existed.
Ask me again
And I will give you
the only honest answer I have:
Because I am.

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